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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411005">whisper your secret of trusting spring to come</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacks8n/pseuds/Jacks8n'>Jacks8n</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, No Sexual Content, Rated Mature for language and violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:15:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacks8n/pseuds/Jacks8n</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The arrival, stay, and abrupt departure of Canary at the Zoldyck Estate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Canary/Killua Zoldyck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>HXHBB20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dedication apparent.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They live beside the temple. Canary’s whole life, she’s run her hands along the yellow walls and wondered what lies within. Aunty Roz says they have a big bath, and that the water is always warm. Treasure, says Edwin. Lots of treasure, from all the offerings people make.</p><p>Canary doesn’t have much to offer—just two coins she found under a market stall. But she hopes the temple will listen anyway.</p><p>In the girls room, everyone is too excited to sleep. Canary has to wait until after the bells chime one to slide out from under her covers. She tiptoes down the hallway, into the bathroom, and out the window. The entrance to the temple is right across the street. A wide arch, with dangling wooden totems that clack together in the breeze.</p><p>She walks up the stone stairs, past the rocks and figures guarding the yard. At the top of the stairs, a monk sits on a step.</p><p>“I saw you climb out your window,” says the monk.</p><p>“I’m not supposed to be out this late,” says Canary.</p><p>“Have you come here before?” asks the monk. Canary shakes her head. The monk rises with a soft grunt.</p><p>She shows Canary how to take off her shoes and step into the sanctuary. It’s high-ceilinged, and all the stones are big and smooth. They tilt awkwardly. Some poke down at jarring angles, their descent only temporarily slowed by the squeeze of their neighbors.</p><p>“Put your coins here,” says the monk. “Then kneel here, and tell the temple why you’ve visited.”</p><p>“Out loud?” asks Canary.</p><p>“If you would like to.”</p><p>Canary kneels. The tile is cold on her knees.</p><p>Tomorrow, Mrs. Zoldyck will visit, and she will take one of them home with her when she leaves. Whoever she chooses will have their own room. They will eat the most delicious foods, and they will travel the world as an apprentice.</p><p>“Please,” she says. “I want them to choose me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For lunch, Mrs. Zoldyck takes them to the most expensive restaurant in Meteor City. Canary orders pasta, and it comes slathered in a thick sauce that tastes like garlic. “I don’t like garlic,” she mutters.</p>
<p>Edwin kicks her shin beneath the table.</p>
<p>“How wonderful it is to see the children,” says Mrs. Zoldyck. Canary wonders how she can see them. Her eyes are hidden by a bulky screen display. </p>
<p>Aunty Roz’s eyes are lined with kohl, just like Canary’s. “They’ve been so excited, Mrs. Zoldyck. We tell them all the time how important your patronage is to keep them housed and happy. Don’t we, now?”</p>
<p>“Oh absolutely,” says Edwin. “All the time.”</p>
<p>Mrs. Zoldyck takes a sip of her drink.</p>
<p>The other tables in the restaurant are empty. The waiters, hands clasped tightly, stand by the walls silent yet attentive, responding to all of Mrs. Zoldyck’s easy gestures for more bread, more water.</p>
<p>Canary leaves most of her pasta untouched.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Canary delicately pulls apart a leaf into ever-smaller pieces. It’s soft and sort of sticky.</p><p>“This one doesn’t participate?” asks Mrs. Zoldyck. She folds her umbrella closed and joins Aunty Roz and Canary on the planter box. Her skirt poofs out in voluminous tiers.</p><p>In the orphanage courtyard, the others spar. Edwin and Nat are the oldest, so they get to use actual swords. Everyone else uses their hands.</p><p>“No,” says Aunty Roz. “Canary had a bit of a tumble awhile back. We’re babying the leg, for now.”</p><p>“Oh of course,” says Mrs. Zoldyck. “Always better to be careful about these things.”</p><p>“Edwin pushed me,” says Canary. Off a wall he dared her to climb.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Hush, Canary,” says Aunty Roz.</p><p>“It’s true!”</p><p>Edwin’s sword clatters to the ground. Nat smiles briefly as he picks it up.</p><p>They’re probably going to choose Nat. She moves her feet really well. She always listens to what Aunty Roz says.</p><p>“Edwin is a very clever boy,” says Mrs. Zoldyck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Mrs. Zoldyck walks down the streets of Meteor City, the people part around her like she’s oil in water.</p><p>“What are your favourite games?” asks Mrs. Zoldyck. She’s holding Canary’s hand. Her skin is warm, but gloved in slippery white silk. They walk laps around the market in the shade of her paper umbrella.</p><p>“I like hide and seek,” says Canary.</p><p>“Oh, that is a good one,” says Mrs. Zoldyck. “When I was a young girl just like you, I used to play hide and seek in the catacombs.”</p><p>Edwin and Nat run along the rooftops. Canary sometimes spots them as they leap from building to building, chasing after the kite Aunty Roz can pull from thin air.</p><p>“Do you play hide and seek with them?” asks Mrs. Zoldyck.</p><p>“Not really,” says Canary. “They’re big kids.”</p><p>A shopkeeper steps forward to pass Mrs. Zoldyck a bouquet of flowers. With her benefactor’s hands full, Canary is asked to carry them. They overwhelm her small frame. She can hardly see around the tulips to walk.</p><p>“And so mean, too,” says Mrs. Zoldyck. “I can’t believe Edwin pushed you. Why would he do such a thing?”</p><p>Canary shrugs. Edwin is just mean sometimes. “My bruise is almost gone.”</p><p>They walk in silence. Nat catches the kite, then Edwin, then Nat again. The others are so far behind that most of them give up, sitting on the rooftops with their feet dangling.</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck squeezes her hand.</p><p>“I think you’re very special, Canary.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The airship rattles off the ground. “This whole thing is yours?” asks Canary. Mrs. Zoldyck has given her a frilly shirt to wear, and it itches.</p><p>She laughs a bright, shiny laugh. “Why of course! Come along now. Let’s see if the kitchen has something sweet.”</p><p>The kitchen is all steel and clinical. Canary asks for an entire bowl full of whipped cream, and she and Mrs. Zoldyck watch as the chef makes it from scratch. </p><p>“For the young lady,” he says, sticking in a big spoon.</p><p>She eats it in the co-pilot's chair, and it’s as pure and fluffy as the clouds they fly over. Mrs. Zoldyck points out towns and roads and mountains. Canary had no idea the world was so big. She’s never left the high walls of Meteor City before. She’s hardly even seen outside the boundaries of the orphanage.</p><p>“And this is just a teaspoon from the ocean,” says Mrs. Zoldyck as they land somewhere green and vibrant. Mrs. Zoldyck has an errand to run. “I can’t wait to share it with you, Canary. My special girl.”</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck trades her clean white gloves for a black pair passed to her by a stoic butler.</p><p>“Can I come?”</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck laughs again. It’s like the laugh from earlier played off a tape. “No, silly,” she says. “It could be dangerous. Now, why don’t you go explore?”</p><p>She finds a room full of staff playing cards. They all grow quiet at her arrival in the doorway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gotoh, the butler in charge of the servant house she lives in, helps iron her blouse. “It’s important to make a good first impression,” he says.</p><p>Canary sits on her bed—in her very own room—and changes the outfit on her doll from Mrs. Zoldyck. When she walked in for the first time yesterday, it was propped up on her fresh, clean pillows. Canary has decided she will change the outfit her doll is wearing every day.</p><p>“When you greet Lord Zoldyck, answer his questions honestly.”</p><p>She folds up the polka dot dress her doll was wearing yesterday and puts it with the other miniature clothes in their small wooden chest. She closes it gently, as though being quiet will fool Gotoh into thinking she’s listening, and twists the latch into place.</p><p>She sits the doll back on the windowsill and tilts her head so it looks like she’s thinking very hard about the vegetable garden outside. That suits the overalls Canary has dressed her in.</p><p>“Thank him for his generosity,” says Gotoh, flipping over the blouse. The ironing board is low, so he has to stoop to use it. “And keep your hands folded.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Canary follows Gotoh up the steps and into the mansion. Her shiny black shoes are almost slippery on the rich carpets they march across. They pass by libraries with shelves to the ceiling and parlors with crackling ember fires and baths with steaming walls of red plants. Gold-framed paintings line the hallway. Their figures, regal and athletic, stare needles.</p><p>“Well, am I late?”</p><p>Canary turns.</p><p>The young man before them has shaggy black hair, the wisps of a mustache, and a lanky build that seems to stretch up into the tall, unlit ceiling.</p><p>“You’re precisely on time,” says Gotoh, putting a hand on Canary’s shoulder to steer her to the side of the hallway. Her elbow knocks into a table displaying an ornate sword, and she hisses. “I was going to have Miss Canary wash her hands before coming in to see you all.”</p><p>His lip wrinkles. “So this is mother’s move.”</p><p>Gotoh’s fingers press into her. “Lady Zoldyck knows the importance of charity.” Canary can hear the tight smile in his voice. “She has scouted Miss Canary to become a butler.”</p><p>The young man glares at her. It makes her uncomfortable, how he inspects her posture and the nervous way she purses her lips.</p><p>“Of course,” he says. “A butler.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bathroom has lacy golden fixtures.</p><p>“I can’t reach the tap,” says Canary.</p><p>For the first time, Gotoh looks genuinely surprised. “Oh,” he says. He looks around the floor, as though for a stool.</p><p>“Can you boost me?” asks Canary.</p><p>“Right.” He does so, with a small grunt, and she scrubs her hands with a bar of soap that smells like coconut.</p><p>“Between your fingers,” he says.</p><p>“I went between my fingers,” she says.</p><p>“Do it again. Fingernails. That means your thumbs, too. Alright. Alright. Rinse. Dry. Good.”</p><p>He cleans the water they got on the counter as she straightens her clothes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Canary arrives, as planned, just after the main course is served. Gotoh makes introductions in a flat tone she hasn't heard from him before, then leaves.</p><p>She stands, her hands twisting, awkward. Lord Zoldyck whispers with his father, Zeno, their eyes pinned on her.</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck is sitting nearest, but she faces her husband at the other end of the grand table, so her back is turned to Canary. Beside her is a quiet boy, Master Kalluto, who complains there are diced onions in the stew, and another, far louder boy, Master Milluki, who smiles with too many teeth so everyone can see the salad caught between them.</p><p>The serious young man from the hallway, Master Illumi, leans towards his father. When he mutters, neither of the older men stop to listen, and his brow darkens.</p><p>Canary wonders why they have two empty seats in the middle of the table. It’s like a wall, splitting apart Mrs. Zoldyck and her husband.</p><p>“Come here,” Lord Zoldyck finally says, and Canary takes a few cautious steps forward. He hasn’t touched his meal since she arrived. “Tell me, Canary,” he says. “How long can someone survive without air?”</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck’s body goes rigid.</p><p>“That’s an easy one, Papa,” says Master Milluki.</p><p>“Silence,” says Lord Zoldyck.</p><p>Canary pinches her ears. “Like if they were in space?” she asks.</p><p>“Or underwater,” says Master Illumi. The other boys laugh.</p><p>“Once I held my breath for a whole minute,” she says. “So at least a minute, I think.”</p><p>The boys snicker louder.</p><p>Lord Zoldyck nods slowly. “What a good answer. And all of you, out.”</p><p>“Father,” says Master Illumi, sobering up.</p><p>“Go,” says Lord Zoldyck.</p><p>Master Milluki throws his fork down with a clang and walks out. Master Kalluto follows. Master Illumi sneers on his way past.</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck still doesn’t turn to face her.</p><p>“Are you ready for the next question?” asks Lord Zoldyck.</p><p>“Um, okay,” says Canary.</p><p>“Good. How many drops of asp venom are a lethal dose?”</p><p>Canary smiles. “Venom and poison are different. Poison is when you eat it but venom has to go into your blood. Or the other way around, maybe.”</p><p>Lord Zoldyck crosses his arms. Mrs. Zoldyck slumps, almost petulant.</p><p>“Thank you, Canary,” says Lord Zeno. She nods. “Illumi, if you’re going to stand in the hallway, could you go request the kitchen bring us some ice cream?”</p><p>“You support this?” says Lord Zoldyck. He seems tired. He looks at her like she’s a clashing sofa that doesn’t quite fit anyway.</p><p>Lord Zeno holds out his hands, palms flat and facing skyward. “It’s a terrible thing that’s happened, Silva. But—” he turns to Mrs. Zoldyck with an expression that suggests ambivalence, rather than kindness “—this makes you happy, yes?”</p><p>Mrs. Zoldyck nods. Shyly at first, and then with more force.</p><p>“Then there’s no reason to complicate this any further,” says Lord Zeno. “Canary will make a fine butler. Are you strong, Canary?”</p><p>“Um, yes?” she says. She used to help new girls at the orphanage carry in their bags.</p><p>“You have to be, to be a good butler.”</p><p>“You can’t honestly support this,” says Lord Zoldyck, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not a minor thing. This is one of the most important decisions we have to make.”</p><p>“Nothing has been decided,” says Lord Zeno. “But now is the time to begin thinking of these things. It’s just unfortunate it’s been so soon since Alluka got sick. But don’t let that cloud your mind, Silva.”</p><p>Lord Zoldyck exhales. “Gotoh.”</p><p>He appears to take her away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A spider lives outside Canary’s window. She’s plump, with striped legs. She builds her web every morning, and Canary wakes early to watch. The spider catches flies and moths and cocoons them into fluffy clouds. Every day she builds her sky, and every night she folds it back together.</p><p>Canary talks to the spider. She dances her doll along the window so they can get to know each other, too. The spider seems to listen, sometimes. She spins in the center of her web, speaking in some code Canary can’t crack.</p><p>The spider disappears a few days before the first snowfall. Canary, dressed and ready for school, kneels on her bed waiting. But the spider doesn’t come.</p><p>Her teacher can tell she’s upset. He pulls her aside during quiet reading time. “Do you have something to share?” he asks. His thick round glasses are incongruous with how burly he is.</p><p>“No, mister,” says Canary.</p><p>He smiles fondly. “We have to talk about it,” he says. “When we aren’t feeling like ourselves. You can’t serve well when you’re worried about your own life.”</p><p>Canary scrunches her lips together. She’s just a little sad, is all.</p><p>“You should get rid of whatever is making you feel bad,” he says. “Your job is to worry about other people. You can’t do that if you’re worrying about yourself.”</p><p>Maybe he’s right. She nods.</p><p>“It’s a little selfish, don’t you think? The Zoldyck’s are giving you an opportunity to be as amazing as you can be.” He pats her head. “So make sure you give them your all.”</p><p>She doesn’t see the spider again. But in the springtime, thousands of babies hatch into a dandelion field that sticks to the eavestrough. And that summer, there’s a new spider.</p><p>“It scares me,” she says.</p><p>Gotoh, still holding the handle of his office door she knocked on, sighs. “Really? It’s just a spider, Canary.”</p><p>“Can you get rid of it?”</p><p>Resigned, he follows. His office door softly closes and automatically locks behind him.</p><p>Gotoh uses a stick to twirl up the web, trapping the frantic bug, and tosses it off into the nearest woods.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Canary isn’t sure when she realizes what the Zoldycks do. All Canary can be sure of is that by the time she’s given a heavy, unyielding cane, she knows what it’s for.</p>
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